How about doing this while with T and getting used to it in her office with her by your side, giving support? Then when you are used to it with her, you could try it on your own. Until you have developed the skill with her present, you can use the distraction or avoidance technique to keep the feelings at bay until you are with her again. After a while, hopefully, you will get better at being able to feel stuff when you are not with her. I think this is an excellent use of a therapist! This isn't easy, hang in there.