I was reminded today to keep my cool at all times. I acted horribly wrong and out of control. Verbally on the phone that just cemented any chance of continuing the relationship. I feel horribly about it. Embarrassed. But she did play her part. She is cold and reminds me of the devil in some ways. She plays the game of love cold and professional. But instead of just cutting my losses, I kept pushing and pulling trying to get her to realize that I didn't mean to hurt her feelings and that she said stuff that she know completely denies. She denies she said it. Can you believe it? She knows what she said to me she just doesnt want to admit it out loud to herself and doesn't want her friends and family to see her in that light. What girl would would admit she pimps herself out to her family a nice and middle class one too. She actually shut up when I made this point... But it doesn't matter. She is a devil in womans disguise. I should have walked away when she started saying hurtful things. In some ways I get a taste of my own medicine. How ironic is that?

The moral of the story ladies and gentlemen is don't lose control. Don't lose yourself. In the end it's not worth it if you can control yourself and yor feelings. But if you can't I guess you gotta go through what you gotta go through to get there. It is a tough road.

Goodnight.