So its the anniversary of my last major manic episode and I can't stop thinking about all of the embarrassing things I did last Sept/Oct.

I started out hypomanic which was fine but it quickly turned in to mania and then lots of delusions.

I posted all kinds of crazy stuff on facebook, which embarrassed my daughter as some of her friend had friended me and of course family members and everybody else saw what I wrote. I feel so bad about that. One of the things I did was proclaim my love for an old friend from high school.
My daughter said I "tagged" the post (which I didn't even think I knew how to do) and he is somewhat of a local celebrity, so EVERYONE, including lots of old friends, saw it. Anyways, I heard him singing to me through the radio, told my husband, in front of my kids I was leaving him for this guy. koo koo.

I walked around the neighborhood behaving bizarrely, I had sooo many delusions: I was convinced my husband was an outlaw and married me to rob our family's money (of which we have none lol), thought the new place we lived was a hideout for the mafia, got in trouble at work- 3 days suspension ( still feel ridiculous about what I did there.. people gossip so much) I left my family and went to my moms for 2 nights- the kids were so angry with me for that....and so much more.

I wound up in the hospital for 4 days.

After getting through a pretty deep depression when I crashed (I could barely even leave the house) I had for the most part, finally let it go, so I thought.
Now all of these memories are cropping up again and bringing me down.

I know there is nothing I can do about the past, just do the best I can today but I just can not get these thoughts and memories out of my head!!!!!!!!!!

How do you make peace and forget??

Does it just take time? I guess the last 2 episodes before that, I don't think about much so is that from time passing? Probably another one will come along and I'll forget about this one. Of course I don't want that to happen and am on guard since this time of year is tricky for me.

How do you put the past away? Like the song says.