If we look back at the original post, this was about the pot calling the kettle black. T was saying maybe button's mom wasn't the most affectionate mom in the world, and now the point is, at least mom never did what T did. Or caused what T did. That why button identifies with T's H, as the victim. But also why you won't confront T, just as you won't confront your mother. Just as T's H prefers to play the victim role - there is power in being the "victim". My mother, but moreso her sister, are extremely loud "victims". "You can't do that, I'll DIIIIIEE if you do that!!!" So I don't know what twist of fate brought you two together - altho she did know your story and may have thought she could help you, where your previous T was not making progress.