I can relate. "This too shall pass" blah blah blah. I hate that saying.

I did the same thing with my klonopins last fall- kept taking too many, more and more just to block the pain ...numbed myself out and stayed in bed. Wound up in the hospital and Dr. will not give any benos to me now. I miss them but know its better for me not to take them. Prior to that happening,I had been taking Xanax prn since 2005. They were a crutch for me I always had them in my pocketbook and anytime I felt a little nervous could pop one. Now I just have to get through it.

I hope things get better for you.