I'm sorry. I know that you are hurting right now and I should give this thread a lot more attention. I am just distracted.

I know for me, what made things better is getting the constant reassurance from my wife that things are really ok. she would cry when we talked about it, and I got to hold her until her tears stopped. I got to comfort her. and then she would comfort me by reassuring me that everything was ok. talking about it made all the difference in the world for me, as it might for you.

Can you pin him down to talk to you about it without any guilt trips being played?

Please watch the drinking. in a way, you might be re creating the trauma by throwing yourself into a depression and ultimately into a hypo/manic episode as a result. that is something that I tend to do as well, and please be careful of that.
Stick to your meds, if your on any, and please try to talk to your family about it.

you can make it clear what your intentions are and that this is serious for your recovery. I know, it takes a lot of courage to do so. a lot. but if you can, and your family is receptive, it will go a long way for you feeling at ease and peace with it.