It took me a long to after I was diagnosed, to accept that I did have bp and that I needed the meds. I have found that when ever I go without them I get messed up.

My doctor reminded me of all the bad things that could have happened when manic- could have gotten arrested, car accident or could have contracted a std from being promiscuous and that I was lucky each time (that those things did not happen).
Once I accepted he told me he was proud of me and that I was more mature. I still wish I did not need them and am trying to stay on as low of a dose as possible.