Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary73
I'm new with this board and even with forums so I am unsure of how to quotes specific questions or advice. One of the biggest problems is that we are currently living together in my parents basement apartment. So I have felt it so unfair that I should be the one to leave. When I finally did leave a couple of weeks ago he found me and stole my computer and stuff out of my Jeep. He denied that for about 4 days and then finally came through with the truth. But he always has these ploys of getting me to come back to him. Legally, I've been told that easiest way to make him leave is to have my parents evict him which I did today. He has until the end of September to be out of here. I just hate that time span. I'm too afraid I will want him back when It is something that HAS to end. We can't go a week without getting into a major battle. I'm not blaming him for everything. I know my ups and downs are not easy to live with. Which is why I feel like a huge loser that will never be able to be in a relationship. But as some of you suggested, I do need to take care of me. I can't have trying to be a good wife hanging over my head any longer. The weight is too much. I do take medications and have seen a psychiatrist for 6 years now. I am mostly depressed, but in the evenings I've started having a lot of agitation and rage. I am regretful for messing up his car. I've been crying about it all day long...in disbelief that I did that. I feel like apologizing to the entire world for who I am and why I can't seem to function.
|
Don't feel bad about the car.... I doubt that he feels bad about putting his hands on you and treating you the way that he does. If you stay in this relationship, you will continue to be hit, continue to be abused, and no things will not get better... You are not thinking clearly when you say that you are afraid of walking away... From the outside looking in, I can tell that your bipolar and depression is weakening your ability to think clearly and rationally. Don't make excuses for him. Love you more than you love him... He's playing games with you when you leave like you did... Ignore the games, walk, and don't look back...
__________________
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, & Wisdom to know the difference.
To live is to suffer, and to survive is to find meaning in that suffering
|