I'm still in a weird silent place, only really breaking it when compelled. Work is going well, still assisting the trainer with the noobz, its been a HUGE mental/emotional relief. I'm not in a constant state of panic anymore...
spiritual update: I believe God and I are reconciling, I'm working on it. Had a long chat with him lastnight and said I forgave Him for not saving my r/s even tho I was a faithful believer all my life and He could if He wanted to. Also, I think I'm over Rowan. Finally...