If I really be honest and look back, I think bipolar in one form of another started for me when I was really young, like 7 or 8 or 9 years old. I think it went badly, in waves. I don't think I was ever symptom free. Either manic or depressed, for long periods of time for both (I mean years of depression followed by months of mania,) just from behavior patterns.

I have photographs and home vidoeos that clearly show the anhedonia in me. I mean I was the zombie in the room. Home videos are eerie though, because if I knew the camera was on me I was "play acting" the happy kid. If I didn't know, I was the zombie.

I think as I got older I started cycling faster and faster. Until I hit now where I cycle either very rapidly or am mixed.