I thought I'd pass on a current update to see if any of you helpful ladies have any further comments or recommendations.

We met for coffee last weekend and it was a good meeting. I left my emotions at home. I told her that I wished we had handled things differently, but I also encouraged her to take the time to figure out her internal/emotional struggles, and I let her know that I really wanted that for her....to become healthy for a future relationship. I let her know that I am available to talk to her, to see if we can sort things out together.....basically there for her when she's ready. I told her I was in a good place in allowing her to do this (and I am) for now and that I would be led differently if necessary.

I sensed a struggle inside her which makes me wonder whether we did the right thing by breaking up: It seemed like she thought (perhaps due to my word choice the evening we broke up: "I need more" essentially after she remarked "I shouldn't have been self-centered and I don't understand why I was") the break up was mostly to allow me to be free while she works on understanding herself and healing. She has never once said that she doesn't want me and has always said "I want to feel more for you, but I just can't for some reason......I don't understand why I pull away from you." She also said that she's trying to understand why in our relationship she pulls away, but in a previous relationship she was in my shoes.

A few days after our meeting, I sent her a bouquet of flowers that simply said "I'm proud of you, I know it's been rough lately, but may these flowers remind you of how special you are." We spoke that night, she was incredibly grateful, and I only encouraged her. We've been texting occasionally as well, but only when she initiates the exchange.

So, here is/are the questions I have:

- Would it be helpful or not-so-helpful if I were to make it very clear that I am still committed to her alone while we take some time apart? Would she view this act as reassuring (i.e. building trust and demonstrating commitment if her childhood emotional wounds lead her to believe otherwise), or would it produce an added pressure that she doesn't need right now?

I think I've just caught myself wanting to do more, when I should simply take a virtual chill pill and let things unfold, as I think this is the only way it can healthily unfold for both of us.

The challenge for me is giving her what she needs right now, and I think my fear of rejection invokes a need in me to help her do that. Interesting.

Still, I'd welcome any comments!