Hi layla11 - it sounds as though you have a lot of issues at the moment which i hope you're getting adequate support for. What about medication to help you sleep? If you already take something like this do you think the amount might need reassessing? I hope you are also receiving some form of counselling or therapy to help you deal with the pressures of your husbands illness as well as work. Are you on a phased return? If not then could you maybe change shifts or work less hours temporarily if your finances are ok for the moment? Im sorry to hear about the loss of your friend - we have a grief and loss board here which you might find helpful. The depression, BPD and PTSD boards are all very active and welcoming of new members too so maybe if you break things down and address each problem individually by posting on serperate boards this might be helpful? If you have a question or need advice which doesn't quite fit into any particular category there is the Other Mental Health Discussion board which receives a lot of views/responses daily. I hope ive been of some help, feel better soon.