Ive done this activity many times. The first time was with a rape crisis center and then after that because in various workbooks the activity is there and because I now know after seeing 18 therapists this activity is just a typical activity that they do with almost every survivor of some any sort of abuse.

The object isn't just for writing to the abuser to confront but its also a way for survivors to start learning how to express themselves and what they need instead of bottling it up and having it be released in unappropiate ways unexpectedly.

therapists also use this activity because it helps them to understand what the client needs from the therapist too.

My first letter to an abuser was just one word.
The next time I did the activity I actually wrote four sentences.
Each time I do the activity I am able to say more of my feelings, what happened to me and what I would have liked from my abuser whether or not I had confronted that abuser.

My abusers are all now dead but I still do the activity from time to time - on a spirual level who knows if there is a god and afterlife that abuser may still be able to hear me.

On the physical level the physical pains associated with keeping things bottled up gets released and the pain fades,

on the emotional level I can think much better without all the crap bouncing around my head constantly and I also don't feel so helpless and depressed.

I am so glad that you were able to write so much for now that nine pages of crap is outside of you and has been expressed in a way that was not using drugs and alcohol to shove the pain down, or released by self injury and suicidal ways, or any other number of ways that survivors in general have been known to deal with the abuses we went through.

WAy to go.. you did it.. and nine pages at that.. WOW and fantastic.