For the longest i can remember, and everyone whom i spoke to who ever knew me well told me that i have a low self esteem. And my respond has always been ya ya i know, that might be the case, and they would list the BUNCH of obvious things that i already have memorized about what makes me a great person and bla bla bla... but really, if i knew all along that this was really the problem and have reminded myself over and over of the 'GOOD QUALITIES' i have, WHY DO I STILL HAVE THIS PROBLEM?

You see, after all these years, and now being 27, married with a family of my own, and living what to many would call a 'normal life' i still seem to have the SAME PROBLEM. Unfortunately i keep comparing myself with my sister in law, and for some reason i feel lost for words when i am around her. Why? For God's sake why? ... Maybe a psychologist would know, but i am pretty sure there is a lot more to the problem than just this.... i am in the process of getting help, i can't seem to find a therapist that would take my insurance ... and i am still looking... when i was back in Canada, i had an outstanding therapist who i saw every three weeks and worked on some of the issues she was able to pick up and of course things i wanted to work on, but here... (Michigan)... I can't seem to find one....

Hopefully i can sort this whole jealousy or self esteem issue thing myself... REAL SOON before my thoughts and emotions ruin the goodness left in my life...