[quote=Rose76;2582822]Kind of low at the moment. Even though you know it will pass, I'm sorry you feel low.

I spent some time yesterday with a neighbor who needed help. She's lonely and I feel for her. She would like for us to do more things together. I get worn out though because she wants someone to listen, which I do attentively. She, in return, is not a good listener, so I don't bother trying to be heard by her. I think people avoid her. I am starting to understand why. I'm afraid I am going to be doing some avoiding, myself. One of the things I realized when I was in the IOP was that I pick the wrong people to be around. I don't feel worthy of good friends. I'm glad you can see and know that this would not be someone that could be a good friend but would be a one sided relationship.

It's good to be compassionate but not at the expense of your own needs. If you need to avoid her I hope you can do so without putting yourself down. Some people need to learn they are their own problems and get help, if people continue avoid her maybe she will see that she needs the help and will get it from a professional. I think that many of us who have been though therapy end up listening to others and became therapy for them just because we have learned to listen and respond in therapy. I've had to tell people I could no longer be their listening and dumping post, and suggest they find a professional. Sometimes the person has gotten angry at me because I wasn't "available" when they needed me. I had to tell them that I wasn't their counselor, if they have relationship problems I'm not the one they should be calling at 3am if they can't or won't be there for me when I need someone. Friendship goes both ways. Take care of you first, Rose.

I hope this is not overbearing or in your face. I'm not sure if my post is too much or not. I just want to support you in doing what ever you need to do for your own wellness.