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wisewoman said:
Yes, I agree, been there with her and she is only willing to go so far. Worried that state will take baby.

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That is so sad.......and sometimes true, at least temporarily .

But I think they would be more likely to step in rather harshly, if she gets into a situation where they (the state) are called in, as opposed to being asked for help .

If she is still with the father then she is not able to protect herself, and consequently the baby, that is an unsafe situation for both of them......and they need to get out.

I am sure it is much easier said then done.....but it does need to be done.

Have her contact DHS and then contact Legal Aid or the Public Defenders office in her county. They will be able to advise her if DHS decides it would be in the best interest of the child to file a case of Neglect against the family. Sometimes DHS will do this so they can file an Individual Case Plan with the Judge and thereby getting a legal order to have all people follow and complete it........

Again, it does sound like a real mess............but unless she takes steps to get out of the relationship, something bad will eventually happen and then she will have very little recourse........or even her life.

She needs to take some steps, and being in an abusive relationship, it is best to involve the authorities as early as possible for a better long term outcome.