A horrible episode happened to me, and I think it may be indicative of serious mental health issues. I'm here to get some clues on what condition(s) I might have.

Here's what happened:

I'm diagnosed with adult ADD (prescribed Adderall) and also mild anxiety (prescribed Valium). I had a break from taking Adderall and then one day started taking it again. When that happens I usually have trouble sleeping for a few days as my body needs time to adjust to Adderall. So on that night I slept only 4 hours, and woke up because I couldn't sleep anymore. I got up and was doing my regular tasks.

I wasn't sure what to do but decided to wait a couple of hours before taking Adderall for that day. So in maybe 2 hours I decided to take it. I opened the bottle and I saw all the pills in the bottle. I decided to take half a pill. I needed to fish the half pill out of the bottle, so I put all the pills on the palm of my hand to be able to do that.

Then I experienced the following thoughts (not necessarily in this precise order):

"If someone took all of them they would be dead."
"Wow, it's so easy to just take all of them."
"It only takes a simple easy motion and then it's irreversible. Even if you have regrets you're then doomed. This is fascinating"
"If you take them you would feel fine until your body absorbs them. So in effect you would be the living dead in that period of time. In that time you could talk to your friends and family but there would be nothing they or you could do. This is crazy."

There was also some undercurrent urge in me to just take all of the pills "for the heck of it". It didn't make any sense. The vague reasoning behind the urge was something like "to see what happens" or "it would be cool" (in some very twisted way).

For some reason I experienced these thoughts while holding all the pills in the palm of my hand. I was extremely disturbed and terrified by these thoughts. I also felt like the inexplicable urge was getting stronger. I was terrified.

I put ALL the pills back in the bottle without taking even one, and went to lay down on a bed. As I was laying down I was thinking about why I was having these terrible thoughts. Then another issue appeared, some irrational part of me started implying that I actually took all or some of the pills. I knew I didn't. But it was getting harder to ignore. I had trouble trusting myself. I became very worried and my jaw started shaking. I kept telling myself that I didn't take any pills, and I'm safe. As my worry was getting worse, I took one tablet of Valium and went back to bed. As I was taking the Valium tablet, I glanced back at my palm 4 or 5 times to absolutely make sure I was taking only one and that I was in fact taking Valium. Very soon after taking Valium I stopped thinking and worrying about all of this and fell asleep and slept for maybe 8 or more hours.

I woke up calm, and feeling completely normal.

I'm not depressed, don't experience regular suicidal thoughts, fairly content with my life and haven't been diagnosed with any mental issues besides ADD and mild anxiety. The only times I've experienced similar is in situations where it would be very easy to jump to death, for example when I would stand on a very tall bridge with no railing, and I would think to myself about "how easy it would be to jump and what it would feel like." And I would experience the same undercurrent urge "to try it".

What mental conditions may I have?