Thanks for replying to my post!
bb.. i think you post a good question, and i think if i weren't jealsou of my sister in law, there might be someone else? Possibly... hm. i wouldn't say my life is extremely effected by the negative thoughts and emotions i feel towards her but i may get there. I just wonder if there is anyone out there who has overcome a jealousy matter aside from leaving the environment or changing it because in my case, i don't think i could ever escape her and even if i could, it would not solve the root problem....

So what is the root problem? Self esteem? i've always had this come up and worked on it for a long time, maybe now i am a little rusty with my focus and ability to control my thoughts and filter them to be more positive. Why? I don't know...

Hello Leed,
Nice to hear from you and thanks for the post! You are right, the most important thing is for the baby to be healthy and clean! Actually in life... we all know what should be important and what would be secondary like (materialistic matters).. but do we really follow that path??? I'd be the first to admit no... I wish i were a more simple person, and you know what is funny? The POOREST PEOPLE are at times the happier once... (speaking from what i;ve seen). They are more content, YES they are tiered and live a hard life possibly, but HONESTLY... they are happy and content.......... i think i might've went off topic a little... but my goal is really to be able to solve the root of the problem. I had a good therapist once believed that i can change to better, and i just wish i can transform where i wouldn't feel as vulrnable around her as i normally do.. it is just embarrassing ... i don't know what to do.. and what kills me is i sometimes feel like others notice.. DO THEY?? do they notice i am jealous or feel the way i do? its extremely embarrassing and this is mainly one of the reasons why i am SEEKING therapy ASAP... (with a hope to change) ...

thanks for reading!