I was writing another post and it suddenly popped me off. What’s THAT about???

As I was writing before I was so rudely interrupted…I just realized that ten years ago today I moved into a house in the country, back east. My whole life I’d had a dream of living in the country, and I finally realized my dream that day (August 3, 1996). If I’d only known that that dream would only last 6 months, I would NOT have been happy. I thought I had left L.A. permanently. I hated it here (still do, more than I can say), and have never been happier in my life than when I was driving across country, getting further and further away from this hot hellhole full of obnoxious lunatics. If I’d known that ten years later I’d be back in this dump, stuck, and miserable beyond words…it tears my heart out to think of it. And what I lost, when I had to leave there.

Tonight I grieve.

Puts me in mind of a poem I once wrote. The last part went:

“If I could cry
as deeply as I feel pain,
my sobs
would fill the universe,
blotting out everything.

And I would never stop.”