Hi,

I'm new here, but not new to therapy.

Long story short, I'm seeing a therapist whom I've seen for a few months. I have PTSD and have survived sexual assaults in both childhood and adulthood.

I'm one of those people that didn't get much physical comfort growing up and was yelled at for crying. So now I crave safe touch. It helps ground me, makes me feel safe, helps me express pain, and helps me feel more connected in the relationship. I've never really cried with her and I never will if she will just sit there. Sometimes it's the only way to bring me out of a flashback (she's tried other things, like letting me hold a blanket, it's not the same). My first T used touch but wound up being damaging to me, though not because of the touch.

I'm not brave enough to ask what this Ts policy on touch was. However the topic came up in an indirect way, and she said either "I don't like touching people" or "I don't touch everyone." Then she followed it by saying, "especially people who have experienced sexual assault." And something like, "they may not interpret it well" or something along those lines.

This hurt on two levels. It REALLY bothers me she'd treat me differently than other clients because of something that was done "to" me. Is it just me or would it bother you, too, if your T said that to you?

Also now I still don't know whether she said she has a blanket no touch policy or just that she doesn't touch certain people. Sigh. She's also a little clinical to me, I prefer someone that is warm, but that's another topic. I just can't look for another therapist at this point. But don't feel brave enough to bring touch up again, especially since she hinted it's something she doesn't do. Any advice or feedback welcome, thanks.