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"I'm not supposed to get defensive towards others, and if I do, I need to apologize, because I'm in the wrong."
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OMG this. But an apology is also a defensive strategy - sometimes you try to defend yourself against criticism by apologising, to deflect any harsh words by getting the apology in first. So sometimes you're defensive by apologising, and since being defensive is wrong, you apologise for this, and and.... (I say "you" but I mean "me" - I don't know if you also do this
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Oh, and
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The trouble with T's is that they always want to know WHY.
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OMG this too. (Though my two ex-Ts did not ask "why" a lot. Current T, though, is like a six-year-old in that respect.
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