Maybe you need to let yourself emotionally become engaged. You will only feel connnected if you let yourself be connected. For instance, quit thinking that your t is only "doing his job". He cares about you. Let yourself feel that. U know?

I think it can depend on a few things, but personally I've actually found the opposite of this... I feel like I never connected to anyone because I was always withholding so much of myself. In casual social situations like parties, the advice is always to ask questions and listen, because people love to talk about themselves, and while that's kind of true, if that's all you ever do in your interactions with people - talk about them and offer little of yourself - I think it's hard for people to feel like they're getting close to you, makes it hard to make deep and lasting friendships... I didn't even realise much of this until I'd been in therapy a while and finally understood what real connection was.