Hey auto...
Wow, sounds like a relationship gone stale. There's only two ways to fix that, talk about it or move on. You should be spending 80% of the time talking or answering HER questions. 3% of the time addressing feelings isn't going to cut it. You're in a rut, and you really need to take a step forward. I understand totally though, I am not really good at bringing stuff up either. Can you write some things out and bring them? Usually all you need to do is say "I am having some problems with our relationship" and T should know where to go.

And I totally second you on EMDR, I absolutely hated it as well.