Thank you all.After a good night sleep my perspective and attitude seem to be much better. I am a hope full person and a person who believes in chances being given. I want to believe things will change, deep down inside it is hard to and I don't think all of me can forget the past. Not for a very long time anyway. We will be continuing w/ the T at least a minimum of 6 months. As more issues arise and I'm sure that they will that time frame could very well be extended. I have more faith in the T now to call it like it is, before I was not certin she would be that way. Thats what I need for her to be my eyes and my heart. The real me not the scared and needy me. Thank you all again for your kind words every one of you Leed, Rose, Cat, and Shez. I feel like I have made true friends for the first time in my life. Thank you for listening.