Having high achieving family can be hard to deal with. My sister is perfect, with the perfect education, family, life, wonderful musician, the student every teacher loved, etc... I know that's not actually true. She has her faults, has worked really hard for what she has and I still can't stop comparing myself to her. I'm starting to get better at not doing it but I have a long way to go. I also started to realize what my strengths were and focus on them.

What program was your AA for? What exactly is an AA, we don't have those here.

I'm a big advocate of the "Strong Interest Inventory" You can find it online for a fee, or my therapist gave it to me. You answer a heck of a lot of multi choice questions about your likes and dislikes. Then your answers are compared to the answers of people who like their jobs. That's how I found my career. Going back to school was hard, but the best thing I ever did. I knew I had to get out of retail. . . it wasn't for me, but my manager and friend did retail all her life and was happy.

Do you like retail at all? Could you find a job somewhere where you could get on a management track? The 'Y' here has free career counselling, is there anything like that in your area that might help you figure out what you want to do?

My job isn't as fancy, respected, or as high paying as my sister's, but I LOVE it. It doesn't hurt that she can't do her job with out the people who do mine. My partner drives a dump truck and sometimes a snow plow and is in danger of getting laid off at any time, but he's happy and he loves it.

I know it's easier said than done, but please try to stop comparing yourself to your sisters and brothers-in-law, it serves no purpose and makes you miserable. You are your own person with your own strengths and value. How you make money does not define who you are. I'm still working on that one too. . . . I'm even starting to believe it most days.

You are not a loser. You have achieved things in your life that many people haven't. Many people weren't able to finish high school let alone post-secondary. Not everyone is cut out for university, I'm not. There are worthwhile careers and jobs that don't require a BA. There are two streams to get the education for my job, one includes uni, the other doesn't but we all get paid the same, perform the same duties, have the same level of competence and my patients would never know the difference. . . we all passed the same national exam.

As for never being married. . . .I've been to over 20 weddings and this past weekend was the first time I've ever had a date to take and we're almost the same age. The only difference is that I'm female and well-intentioned people are reminding my about my bio clock There is still plenty of time for family if that is important to you. There is also plenty of time to find the career you never knew you wanted. Have faith, and if you can't, let someone else have it for you.

Meds are helpful for depression, but they can't do it all. I have to tweak or change mine every couple of years. And I don't do well if I don't talk to my doc or therapist every few weeks. Depression sucks, and makes life harder than it is for others, but it doesn't have to stop you from getting what you want, just makes you be more creative.

What do you like to do? Not to make money, but to pass the time?

Strength
v