This is so sad to read and thing about. It was made clear to me that I was an inconvenience as a young child. My dad wanted my mom to abort me and when she refused he beat her throughout the pregnancy. After they divorced my mom had to deal with me being in the way as she was "dating" various random guys. So I was always a burden for her. Then when she finally had enough of me and left me with my dad, he wasn't wanting to suddenly have a young daughter to care for...once again I was a burden. Anyway, the grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc who got saddled with me at times also felt I was a burden. Anyway...yeah, always been a burden. My soon to be ex-family has made it abundantly clear that I have always been a burden to them as well and I owe it to them to stick with my H even though he is in prison, cheated,and a bunch of other stuff.
The thing is that now, that for the first time in my life I am living alone and am not supporting or taking care of anyone else and it leaves me feeling like I have no reason to exist. If I am not taking care of someone, then what is my purpose?