I made a horrible decision 2 months ago....i left my halfway house and all the support I had and relapsed. Now I can't stop. This has been my life for ten years. Get some time under my belt and throw it away. I have nothing now and am thoroughly embarrassed. I don't know what to say....don't know what can possibly help me now. I feel like a loser being such a chronic relapser and I can tell ppl are getting sick of me. I want to break this cycle but i see no reason for it. Am I one that just can't get it? I'm beginning to think that....it baffles me that ppl can go in to the program one time and stay. That has not been my experience. I'm a runner. Has anyone else been a runner and got it? Right now I just see no hope especially in the situation I'm living with now where there are active alcoholics in the home and unhealthy "friends" close by. I've been told ppl can get sober anywhere but it is pretty difficult here. I'm so mad at myself. I left basically for a guy and he is no where to be found. Why am I so stupid? Have a therapy session tonight I hope that will help. Just need the courage again. Just need some hope. Any words of encouragement would be great.....feel so alone right now, so used and so stupid.