Hi,
I am new here. Been married 20 years. Have 2 sons, the older one is the one the does everything right, does not argue, the easy one. The younger is the opposite, but still a great kid, just needs a different touch to motivate him, which takes skill and constant work.

My husband doesn't get this one, the younger. He jumps to negative conclusions about our youngest at every turn, and wrongly believes the most negative things about his own son, that are extremely hurtful. He (husband) says things that really hurt our boy almost daily, I see it getting worse as our 16 year old is getting older, and finding his independence, my husband seems to hate everything about this. We can not just have simple conversations about, say the football game, without the husband loosing it and telling our son he does everything wrong, essentially.

My love for him is severely diminished and has been for a long time. I could tolerate my husband's negativeness if it was just at me, but I don't want my son ruined any more by this.

In this day and age of being so financially difficult to separate or divorce, as well as emotionally devastating, I feel confused what to do.

My husband won't see a counselor, he thinks we are in the wrong, and is constantly playing the martyr.
He comes from a disfunctional upbringing, I don't. What would you do?
So sad right now, it hurts.