You did the right thing telling your son's therapist. I think you should ask for an appointment with your son's therapist without your son along, to discuss how you are going to handle your aging with your son's need for continued care. At your age you should be relaxing and not still raising a child. You could find some way to put the funds your son needs in trust, but your son should be either independent -- that is to say, getting himself back and forth to the doctor, etc., or you should be making plans for when you and your husband are too ill, aged or infirm to take care of your son like a little boy. If this means a group home for your son, then there is no better time to figure that out than now, while you are still of sound mind. If he is capable of physically taking care of himself, then he should start now. I had a sibling who held my parents hostage with his illness, and you'll just have to take my word for it, because I don't want to discuss the details, but neither he nor they were better off for all the bending over backwards they did for him. I am sympathetic to your situation.