I've applied for SSI and hopefully can get on medicaid...so I am not in quite the same situation but its similar in a sense. Anyways I also struggle with those sort of internal arguments about this sort of thing.

I mean I know I am having trouble with functioning and it interfered with college causing me to drop out and my ability to get and/or keep a job at least at this point in my life. So there is nothing wrong with getting help...nor am I giving up by acknowledging the issues I have interfere with these things.

But yet I still end up feeling like I could just try harder to work or I feel guilty about being a 'burden' and such. I know that's more things I've internalized and anxiety about what people think and such. Anyways its easier said than done but just try not to let it get you down too much, that's all I really know to do...though I must admit I've procrastinated on this some due to this exact issue.