(((beauflow)),
You are just working on figuring this all out, me too. I feel like there were things I knew that I fought too. But that is also part of the subconscious resenting things that constrain us or invalidate us.

You are doing "better" beau, it takes time to pull this all apart and walk through it understand what triggers the PTSD and how to work past it. I am working on that myself. But I don't blame myself anymore, I have made a decision to just grow from whatever I learn.

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes