Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
that's when you know you're making progress, when you can finally see how your former T's agree and that they were right. Then you know you are seeing the big picture, the true narrative of your life. Then, as Asiablue says, you can start to pick parts of that narrative to work on as an overriding theme for that year in therapy, is what I do. my first year back with this T, it WAS attachment - it was a new topic to me, I learned all I could about it from books, and tried to piece together what my non-remembered past must have been like. Realizing I had no concept of attachment at all, I had a lot of catching up to do. But you are SO insistent that your childhood was great and you were attached to your mother and vice versa, that it doesn't give one much wiggle room to find any problems, except for when you were in the incubator. But I am reading a book that says preverbal depersonalization and derealization issues could arise from fixed feeding times, that the infant feels that they are powerless over their environment. Would that have been your case, do you know?
|
Hey, I never said my childhood was great. My Ts have all told me that there must have been something wrong with my relationship with my Mom to have the needs that I have. It could have been her anxiety not allowing me to feel safe with her. It could be that simple. I had selective mutism. I had a brother who was a bit weird and abusive towards me. I never said my life was like Leave it to Beaver or Ozzie and Harriet! I lived in my own world, not sharing my feelings with anyone. Yes, I was loved. Yes, I always had a few friends, but I always felt like an outsider. Not quite "with it", you know. I still feel that way somewhat. I don't know anything about my feeding times when I was an infant, just about my Mom not breastfeeding me. I do feel powerless over my environment, though. Always! Maybe that's why I didn't talk. My T said it was a way to control my extreme anxiety. I can't figure it out. I just want these feelings about my T and therapy to go away already. I can't take it anymore. Really. I need a solution other than quitting. I'd be miserable if I quit now. I'm not going to think about that option until after I finish DBT.