I have done those thoughts so many times. More as a kid. I'd look in medicine cabinet and think-what if I took
All of those aspirin what would happen. Or what if I took my dads gun off the rack and put to my head, would I pull the trigger? Would my friends and family care??Stuff like that. And now I'm diagnosed with major depression and bipolar as a adult. I'm no professional but do think you should look Into a discussion about possible depression. I realize those thoughts were possibly harmful and as a adult with these mood disorders I realize those thoughts were most likely associated with my depression.