Interesting idea, delicate. I will have to think about it more, but my first thoughts about it would be that T would be like a sister to me. I never had a sister. Or a very close friend. She would let me come to her house and see her artwork. I would meet her H and her kids. They wouldn't be "off limits" to me. T and I could talk about stuff with no time limit. But then it gets into another need.

She would hold my hand for as long as I want. It would turn into a romantic relationship. No, that sounds icky to me. I think mother/sister/friend is more what I'm looking for, unless she turned into a man. We could take walks and talk, and go to the beach together. She'd help me with painting and I'd help her with drawing. She would confide in me too. I'd learn what her problems were. I want it to be reciprocal. I want that from other people but that doesn't mean I don't want it from her specifically.

I don't want to be "her job". I hate that more than anything! I want her to meet my grandchildren, not just see photos of them. I want her to meet my kids. I want to see her pets. I guess I want it to be a real relationship. It hurts me to have her "halfway" the way I do. It makes me want more, with HER, not someone else.

The child parts would climb into T's lap and she would hold them for a long, long time. As long as they wanted. It would never have to end. It would be REAL, not therapy, and not fantasy either. This is all so pathetic. I can't have it but maybe it helped to write it out. Writing is my way to let out my feelings. Thanks, delicate.