I lost my only granddaugther. I know how bad that pain is. It took me a very long time to accept it. I thought my world was over. All I wanted was to go be with her. She was the light of my life! My world. She was ill and we didn't know it. Someone told me that we are only loaned our children. I think that right there had a huge impact on me. Each day does get easier. I think the first year was the worst. Hang in with us and as others have suggested get some grief counseling! Compassionate Friends is an excellent group!