i had to go back to my old school last night. I said that i would help work a feastival. I was only there for about 20 minutes when i felt my mood going down. I don't really know what it was.

It was like i go there and everything horrible that happened to me this year just came back. This school was probably one of the best times of my life. Yet when i went back i felt like couldn't even breathe. Everybodu was smiling and laughing, and i just wanted to go home.

i told them i'd work again tonight but i really don't know if i'm up to it again. (i work one of the kids booths.)

I can't understand really why seeing these people has made me worse. I guess its seeing them all happy and me just being one big mess. None of them know about anything, i've never told any of them.

I don't i just really don't wanna go back again tonight, but i know i will