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Originally Posted by autotelica
I definitely never felt like my parents were deep wells of sympathy as a kid. They were great during happy times, but any unhappiness was met with exasperation. Or misunderstanding. I didn't even have to be unhappy, sometimes. If my face was too solemn (which is it's natural state), I'd catch hell for it.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by autotelica
I'm trying to work within my alexithymia, rather than beating my head against the wall and trying to *fix* it, if that makes any sense. Because it's not considered something that I can fix, but rather something that's innate to my character.
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Autotelica, I am going to have to disagree that your alexithymia cannot be overcome. You have written above behavior from your parents that stifles emotional development. Yes, genetics affect how we develop but environment triggers those genetics. You can learn and develop what you didn't get the chance to while growing up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by autotelica
I like that she's so "big" and I'm so "small". It relieves me of so much pressure. I don't have to think about what I'm going to say. She gets to see me in my most comfortable, natural way.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by autotelica
No, I don't want a "talk about everything" relationship. I like that our therapy is practical and centered on thoughts and actions rather than feelings and experiences.
But you are right that therapy is where you stretch your personality. My personality is a bit stilted and undeveloped, and I haven't really used therapy to change this. I've gained so much insight and understanding about myself, though.
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You can grow and develop beyond where you are. You have to decide that this is what you want, though, and develop a plan on how you are going to get there if this is what you decide.