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Irreplaceable · Sep 20, 2012, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by karoliinareddish

Since I dragged (according to my husband) to our beautiful little hobby farm from the city several years ago... He has begun to blame me

on everything that goes wrong (economy, travel, money, etc.)! Maybe he is right, but in past year this is always an issue when he comes home

Not only do I need an hour lecture, but so does my 16 year old daughter

which is unacceptable! He has never really hurt us physically... other than an occasianal headlock - and banging one of us to the fridge door

. I called the cops then... not to mention throwing kitchen knifes... well, at least then I received a new front door. I believe he is super jealous person... and now somehow his dissulotional thinking has major issues. According to "him" this year, he always wants to trade some of my happiness. For example; get rid of the horses and I will let you keep the pool. Get rid of the goats, and I will let you keep the dogs.... He feels these are all distractions, and yes... they are... but these are my sanity!

Any thoughts welcome.

Yes it's abuse... And from the sounds of things, I can tell this has been going on for awhile... How do I know? Because you exhibit a common trait among those who are abused... Meaning, people who are abused, they are abused so much that they minimize (see the bolded up top) abusive behavior... I hope you don't find my post offensive... I'm only trying to help.

I've been in your daughter's shoes, and I've been in yours... And I can tell you, it was damaging to me that my mother stayed with my father even though he was abusive... Physically, mentally, emotionally, etc... Because as a child, we internalize that, it messes with our heads, and we begin to think that it's "normal" for people to react in such a way when they are upset or for whatever random reason... Or, we may not think it's normal, but we accept it and that carries throughout adulthood and in our relationships...

Your daughter needs to understand that her father is abusive, and no man should ever do what he does to her... That includes headlocks... I'm telling you that this cycle has a good chance of repeating with your daughter and in her future relationships... If you continue to stay then that is your decision... But consider the safety and future of your child. His behavior is totally unacceptable and uncalled for... If he's mad about something, then he needs to walk away until he calms down...It's called having self control... You staying with him is the reason he keeps doing what he's doing... Good luck! I genuinely wish you and your family the best...