I feel resentful towards most of the world, agitated and really randomly blue. Perhaps not so randomly - I think I want ... exactly the right kind of attention and affection. I know this is unreasonable, because everyone has different ways of being. But I really just... want to be significant enough for someone to be differently for me, for a while. Stupid, isn't it?

Meanwhile, I'm behind on my work, anxious and freaking out quietly. And a friend has come to stay, so a little... agitated from that too - like my space is shared suddenly, and I love her, but I still feel overwhelmed and... like I've spent energy on her so there's not enough for me? As a consequence have slept through most of today.

Just... I don't feel okay. I feel almost pressured to BE okay, but I'm not feeling okay. And I feel upset when I tell someone about being less okay because there is either advice or a sense of 'this will pass' and 'this is all for the best' and 'this is part of life' ... and I'm sure all that is true, but it's still... HAPPENING and that is monumental. So I want consideration but I'm grumpy.