flyinggirl, my 40s were turbulent (I'm 48 now). I came out at 44 and rocked many many boats. Friends told me I was having a midlife crisis or going through a "phase". Turns out it's most definitely not

Don't be chastened. Everyone's suffering is important and needs to be heard and supported equally. How lovely you have a supportive wife who has already googled ahead! My gf succumbed to depression and rather than allow me to support her, dumped me via a single phone call and has refused to have anything much to do with me ever since

I must admit I'm not looking forward to 50 but I am sure my fifth decade will bring it's own challenges as well as much love and laughter!

PS: I'm UK based too.