Maybe I am just adding another vote so to speak. He not only sounds abusive and controlling but scary and dangerous as well. We are often inclined to deny how bad the situation is when we are close to it, Anybody who bangs people up against the refrigerator door or throws knives definitely has an anger problem, Blaming you for all the ills of his world is not going to cut it. He needs help and I would insist that he see a counselor. I do not think you can continue like this indefinitely. SOmeone is going to get hurt seriously