Oh boy could I go on about frustrations of on line support groups and how they relate to PC -

Where do I start -

1- being told I don't like your post to so and so when a simple click of the ignore button will fix the situation for the complaintant especially when my reply has nothing to do with the complaintant.

2-- reading threads of people threatennig to leave because someone didn't agree with them or they had a fight with another member, as a result getting the rest of the various on line support group members in an uproar when a simple click of the ignore button will fix the situation both for the person threatening to leave and the people upset because that person is threatening to leave.

3 ---seeing for the umteenth time someone is trying to be the peacemaker with ban together, lets have peace when a simple click of the ignore button will allow those who dream of utopia to have cyber-utopia.

4 ----on line support groups that are more geared for remaining stuck in the quicksand of problems and pitty party routines and rally against those that welcome the knowledge of what their problems are and how to take care of them.

oh yes there actually are sites out there where members

repeatedly put themselves down
remain stuck in a problem
Shoot down every suggestion that may help.

and any sign that a person is facing their challenges head on and helping others to stand on their own two feet, instead of in the problems perpetrating the mass misconceptionalized versions of their disorder are met with conform to this or we will bait him / her into a fight so she gets be banned and other tactics used to try and force the non conforming person into silence and at best leave the site.

Being a member of many on line support groups I can recognize when this member on one site is that member on another. And it is so irritating that on other sites the same members can and know how to and even help new members with understanding how to monitor their own on line experiences so that they are not getting upset, triggered, angry (whatever word used) but yet here they continuously are upset and throwing temper tantrums when others dont agree with them and can't seem to be able to use that same ignore feature and self help tools that they are able to do on the other sites.

Heck I could go on forever with my frustrations this past 5 years of on line support groups and how and when my general frustrations fit in here on this site.

but you know what a majority of frustrations and problems can be fixed with one thing --

THE IGNORE ICON

There are so many repeated threads discussing this one issue of moderators and administrators repeating in many ways - USE THE IGNORE ICON that Im surprised the ignore icon doesn't have its own message board.

SOLUTIONS -

frustratioon 1- getting compliants about my posts and threads to others when the complaintant is not the person I replied to

- IGNORE ICON and notify moderators and or administrators giving them permission telling them how to locate and read the complaint because in online support groups other members not in authority are not allowed to discipline other members of the community.

Though I have to admit the urge to send such people back their own complaint when I see the same person posting something I don't agree with is VERY tempting, just to see how they would like it if I stooped to their childish temper tantrum level. Frustration solved.

Frustration 2 reading posts of those threatening to leave -

IGNORE ICON when I don't want to read them. People leaving PC doesn't depend on me, my agreeing with them or my begging them to stay.

they are in control of their own online experience if they are unhappy being here then by all means they should leave.

But I have noticed one thing in 5 years of being in many on line support groups and that is-

that this is the only site in which I have ever encountered people posting publically that they are leaving the site. on over 15 other on line groups I have been in over the years the members who were not happy didnt waste time posting goodbye posts and threads they just left. They notify privately those they want to remain in contact with and then leave.

its really not a big deal in on line support groups for members to come and go they just do.

so I got curious and started keeping track of such posts here and discovered a pattern among those type of posts -

The person does not leave. They instead sit and watch people begging them to stay and eventiually someone will supposedly drag out of the person the reason they are leaving which of course leads to mass confusion to the general membership. After everything is in full out war between each other the person posts - guess what Im staying because I can't stand being away from you all posts.

So I have come to my opinion that those who do this are those that want to stir up trouble with in the community but yet give the appearance of - "I didn't do anything" and also to see how many people they can control by getting them on their cyber knees to beg.

Another common theme I have found was that alot of times the person posting they are leaving changes their names so people think they have left thinking no one will know they are still there.

News flash anyone can discover who is changing their names and who is who just by printing off their favorite posts and then when the new name appears on line it is not on the already printed out posts and threads.

Solution- I post the same way to them under the new name as I did when they are were the old name and they realize their ruse did not work and in time they find out on their own that it is harder to be someone else then they were already and eventually go back to being the old name because it is too hard not to repeat posting stlyes, situations and so on.

once I saw these common themes being frustrated by those claiming to be leaving no longer frustrated me. If they really wanted to go they would just go and not advirtize just like any other on line support group and or real life suppport group.

So the end solution - IGNORE.

they want to post a Im leaving post because they had a fight with someone or because they want to see how many will beg them to stay thats up to them but I am in control of my online experience so I choose to ignore them frustration solved.

Frustration 3 - - Peace at PC

two people are never going to agree and never have a problem heck even married people cant get along 100% of the time.

two towns side by side cannot agree 100% of the time.

no two states can agree 100% of the time on the same issues.

No two countries can agree 100% of the time.

if two people, two towns, two states and two countries cant agree 100% of the time how is a whole world going to agree 100% of the time on line?

IT IS NOT GOING TO! THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS UTOPIA!.

So when I come across something that I don't agree with I know that it is up to ME to control MY on line experience. this means I can -

post my point of view and know that by doing so I am open to the same just like everyone else who has posted before me.

read the post and thread and NOT reply

not reply to the offending post and turn on the ignore icon so that I no longer have to read that offending post.

Frustration solved.

Frustration -4 sites geared for remaining in the quicksand of problems and for perpetrating the misconceptions of disorders.

I know that not everyone wants to get better. for some reason or in some way those people have learned to get attention from being sick and or putting thierself down. The sites geared towards healing most times have a rule right in the guidelines that the group is support oriented and geared for healing and because negitivity against oneself is considered an emotional self injury tactic and also a negative manipulative way of obtaining support and attention the members are forbidden to "speak" negatively against any member including their self and or their alters.

So I follow that rule no matter what site I am on I don't call myself names and put myself down and I don't do that to others.

I try to help when I can but if I see this negative and manipulative behaviour in others I IGNORE it because my replying to such posts and threads just gives that person what they want control, attention and to manipulate others by playing on their emotions.

As for people not likeing that I post thefactual varifyable truth about my disorder I know that I cannot get banned from any professionally run site just because I want to supply the truth about my disorder and strive to better myself mentally. On professionally run sites they welcome and want the truth about mental disorders not the misconceptionalized views because people use the information for many things - professionals use it to help their clients, students use it for their reseach papers and to get ready for going into the therapy fields themselves, people with mental disorders go to professionally run sites to understand their problems and so on.

So when I encounter those that want to make me conform to silencing the truth and perpetrate the misconceptionalized views I know that I cant control them but I can control my reaction to their various tactics to silence me, bait me into getting banned and so on. So I choose to IGNORE and let their efforts against me slide off and in doing so their own tactics end up burying them and angering them instead of me.

Basically a novel latter my opinion-

EVERYONE IS IN CONTROL OF THEIR OWN ONLINE EXPERIECE

if anyone (including me) is frustrated here then they are ALLOWING themselves to be frustrated by not using the tools open to them to use, like they would and do on any number of other website online support groups.