I'm so glad that our opinions are helping. They help me as well. I can relate ++ to your situation which sounds similar to my own. These people are a nightmare to live with but also very difficult people leave because of the control they have over you. It's amazing how they can make you feel guilty like you have done something wrong and plant seeds of doubt in your mind so that you start questioning yourself. It's all part of their desire to control you. There are times when I feel very low as well and feel similar to what you have said about having your spirit sucked out of you but I also know that he hasn't. The very fact that your questioning his behaviour and have posted on this forum is sign enough for me that your spirit is still alive - struggling a bit - but well and truly alive. Keep posting as a means of therapy for yourself and in the meantime see if you can plan your departure if that is at all possible. Stay strong and believe in yourself.