This is my best friend. It's not difficult to tell her that I need space; she gets it and backs off, and in some senses, it's actually nicer to have someone in the house.

I'm sort of slipping. My head is getting caught in loops; last night I caught caught in the "omg it's all my fault loop". I could recognise it was a loop but the fact that that recognition did nothing for the resolution of said loop was just really upsetting. Because there's a big part of me that wants to fix everything and sort it out. But I couldn't sort this out.

I've committed myself in a conversation with the ex to wait for him for a few months. And I'm sort of ... not handling this well. Because it involves a lot of acceptance that crap is happening, and I don't like to accept crap. >_< So the waiting... you're more right than you know. Except this waiting is tarnished further by a question of "omg am I doing the right thing? omg is it all my fault?" So I'm looping. (Giving a whole new spin to "loopy" ><)

(((Leed)))