I don't have any experience with this, Distantmalice, but I do believe (from my own experience) that thoughts can be changed. I have - with a lot of help - learned not to call myself names, tell myself I'm stupid, worthless, etc., as I used to do all the time.

The good thing is that you know they are telling you you're something that you're not. So the thoughts are not who you ARE. You say 'bad memories' - - a lot of people who have had bad things happen carry the guilt and shame around even though what happened to them wasn't their fault. Like your subconscious is trying to punish you over and over again.

I hope your appointment is soon and hope you get into therapy. It takes work to get better but it's worth the effort. Please keep us informed.