Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster
So we've been essentially given a second lease on life.
Do you ever feel that you are not making the most of it? That life should be more momentous if destiny decided to rescue you? I just feel that I am trying to clean up a giant mess after several years, and only partially succeeding.
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this is so controversial Hamster...
I was disappointed when I woke up from those sedated attempts... panicked by those more overt attempts.
I felt like I couldn't even make the most of my death!
and if I could make the most of my life?...before that?
well I believe I did...and to abandon it then I don't know what condition I will be on the 'surviving' side of things ...?
but just looking at it?...yes I feel guilty...
1: because I don't appreciate the second third and more chances
2: because if I knew how to appreciate life I would never have arrived at the need to remove myself from it
3: because I'm still struggling and yet won't finish it in a way that is proven to work.
but yeah a couple times I was really unlucky
thats what bothers me ...bein' stuck in the middle...alive but unco-operative