(((Tink)))

Perhaps you should call your T today, and explain how you're really struggling with shame and anxiety since you saw him/her & talked about one of your horrible experiences in life. Do they have any tips on how you can keep pushing yourself to make it through, without giving into negative impulses?

I once called my T between sessions and that helped ease my anxiety and self-hate for a couple of days, until our next session. Please do give that a try today. Gentle hugs to you, Tink. You're in my thoughts.