Hey, Passion

I know it can be really hard to keep going when there is that coldness in the relationship. My son's dad and I were only engaged (thankfully never married) and were together for almost 12 years. For the last year of our relationship we slept in the same bed with about a foot and half between us, no sex for 11 months. The year prior to that was sex with no kissing or passion (I used to call it hooker sex because it felt sad and bad to me )

I hung on also because of my child. The last thing I ever wanted was to break up my family. The thing is, my son could tell that there was sadness and unhappiness even though I always tried to put on the happy mama face. He could see through it. It got to the point that I realized that I was doing this for my son, but what I felt I was really doing was showing him that this is what relationships look like: no sweetness, no hand holding, no friendship, no conversation, no passion. My point of all this: I didn't want him thinking that this was what a "normal" relationship looked like. Ending the relationship was the single most difficult thing I have ever had to do. I told myself and now know it to be true for me in my situation: the right decisions to make are often the hardest.

Several years later when I finally got to the point where I didn't even want a relationship, totally done with dudes- I had all I needed with my son in our own little duplex with a cute little yard. Then I met my bf. And now I can show my boy what a reciprocating, healthy relationship looks like (even though our fam is a little dysfunctional at times) there is love, respect and kindness there. All things everyone deserves. Yourself included.

Be true to yourself, hang in there and feel supported whatever decision is made or path you take. We are all here for you.