Ever watched that funny movie "What About Bob"...They mention "baby steps" in the movie quite often. I've found that to be helpful in realizing that just because you are sobbing at the moment and everything is crashing around you does not mean that an hour or two from now things will start to change for the better. I also believe you will be a teacher! Don't give up on that dream. to you and I do care and I know exactly where you are at and how you feel and you are NOT a screw up. Be gentle with yourself.