My mom knows I self harm, she has done for a long while. And since it's got worse, she's been taking away all the 'sharp' and 'harmful' things around the house away, because I will do it with whatever I can get my hands on. I have previously done it with scissors, pins, needles, jagged bits of plastic and metal, smashing and breaking things, like rulers and mirrors, to get things sharp enough to cut. But nothing did it for me like a razor. I discovered the razors and started using them. It cut deeper, hurt more and left more scars. I needed it. I lied about what I was self harming with every time my mom found out, because I was terrified of her taking what I actually used away. She found out about the razors yesterday and now I literally don't have anything left to cut with... It's driving me insane.. I even unscrewed a pencil sharpener and took the blades out of that, but they didn't work as well, hardly anything at all really.

I need it... and I'm hoping you guys will understand that.. I'm going out my head.. I need SOMETHING..